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Stupidity Knows No Party:

The Aggregate Idiocy
Of
Marion Barry
&
Dan Quayle



"The US has a vital interest in that area of the country."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle
Referring to Latin America.


"I read a funny story about how the Republicans freed the slaves.
The Republicans are the ones who created slavery by law in the 1600's.
Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves and he was not a Republican."
- M. Barry,
Mayor of Washington, DC


"We should develop anti-satellite weapons because we could
not have prevailed without them in 'Red Storm Rising'."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle


"What right does Congress have to go around making laws just
because they deem it necessary?"
- M. Barry,
Mayor of Washington, DC

"I want to be Robin to Bush's Batman."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"People have criticized me because my security detail is larger
than the president's. But you must ask yourself:
are there more people who want to kill me than who want to
kill the president? I can assure you there are."
- M. Barry,
Mayor of Washington, DC

"One word sums up probably the responsibility of
any vice president, and that one word is 'to be prepared'."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"The laws in this city are clearly racist. All laws are racist.
The law of gravity is racist."
- M. Barry,
Mayor of Washington, DC

"You all look like happy campers to me. Happy campers
you are, happy campers you have been, and, as far
as I am concerned, happy campers you will always be."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle, to the American Samoans,
whose capital Quayle pronounces "Pogo Pogo"

"I am making this trip to Africa because Washington is an
international city, just like Tokyo, Nigeria or Israel.
As mayor, I am an international symbol.
Can you deny that to Africa?"
- M. Barry,
Mayor of Washington, DC

"Mars is essentially in the same orbit... somewhat the
same distance from the Sun, which is very important.
We have seen pictures where there are canals,
we believe, and water. If there is water, that means
there is oxygen. If oxygen, that means we can breathe."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"I am clearly more popular than Reagan. I am in my third term.
Where's Reagan? Gone after two! Defeated by George Bush and
Michael Dukakis no less."
- M. Barry,
Mayor of Washington, DC

"Verbosity leads to unclear, inarticulate things."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"Bitch set me up."
- M. Barry,
Mayor of Washington, DC

"Republicans understand the importance of bondage between
a mother and child."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle

"If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very
very low crime rate."
- M. Barry,
Mayor of Washington, DC

"[I will never have] another Jimmy Carter grain embargo,
Jimmy, Jimmy Carter, Jimmy Carter grain embargo,
Jimmy Carter grain embargo."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle during the Benson debate


"The contagious people of Washington have stood firm against
diversity during this long period of increment weather."
- M. Barry,
Mayor of Washington, DC

"Well, it looks as if the top part fell on the bottom part."
-- Vice President Dan Quayle referring to
the collapsed section of the 880 freeway after
the San Francisco earthquake of 1989.
[this may be a joke; the source is unclear.
but it's still funny]

"I am a great mayor; I am an upstanding Christian man; I am an
intelligent man; I am a deeply educated man; I am a humble man."
- M. Barry,
Mayor of Washington, DC

"May our nation continue to be the beacon of hope to the world."
-- The Quayle's 1989 Christmas card.
[Not a beacon of literacy, though.]

Man, what a couple of fools.
Thank God they're both out of office!


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